I think to post here almost every day and yet when I finally get a moment to sit down I can’t bring myself to write it all.
Things have been rough with Adrian these past couple of months. I’m tired.
The aggression seems to come in waves – worse for a week or two then suddenly a day or two without too much trouble. Far too often though we find ourselves out of meds for the day, out of energy to deal with an out of control teen and out of ideas about how to make it better. There’s new holes all over the house. I’ve replaced the cardboard coverings on many of them over and over. I’m weary of being pinched, pushed, slapped and spit upon.
Then there’s the newest problem. Running. Many years ago Adrian was a runner. We eventually broke him of the habit at home by taking him to the mall and letting him run away. The doors were few and far enough between to make the gamble relatively safe. He was always in sight as he had no interest in going into the stores. He quickly learned we weren’t going to play the chase game just because he ran and so he gave up on running from us.
It’s worked all these years. Recently he’s been running on them at school. Into the parking lot, out of running cars, into the woods behind the school, out the door, …. And he’s fast. It scared the staff and well it should. He doesn’t recognize the dangers.
At home it still wasn’t a problem and for that we were grateful. But then it happened. The other kids were taking out the trash and Adrian slipped out the garage door. He ran down to the end of the driveway where the other kids were. Then he kept on going. My husband and I bolted from the house, used every technique we’ve used successfully for years to no avail.
He ran down the middle of the street a quarter of a mile, turned the corner and was headed toward a high speed, high traffic road when I finally caught up with him in the car. He thought the whole affair was terribly funny and continued with rather manic behavior that entire evening, constantly threatening to run out the front door.
Since then he’s threatened to run several times. Opening the front door or the garage door or trying to pry open the gates in the back yard. We’re constantly asking, “Where’s Adrian?” And the vigilance is exhausting.
With the desperation comes the resolve to try something new – anything that might help. So this week we’ve started him on the Specific Carbohydrate Diet (SCD). I’m praying that it makes a difference – even a little bit. Because while he’s apparently got plenty of energy, I’m not sure I have enough to keep running at this pace.