Utter Autism

May 24, 2007

It’s on the way!

Good news from the speech therapist today!  Adrian’s Dynavox is on the way!

Long story, short – we waited years to get Adrian a communication device, school district finally purchased one for us, we moved, left device behind, more years of waiting, and now…. now, finally, we’re about to get Adrian’s new device. 

I’m used to putting the whole affair as far in the back of my mind as possible.  To think about the fact that he could communicate so much more, but be without the tools is maddening.  I have, more than once, broken down in front of people trying to explain my frustration.  It is to me, my biggest failure in advocating for Adrian.

Even after we finished the paperwork, even after the order was placed, I wouldn’t allow myself to think about it too much.  That frustration just doesn’t serve me well in dealing with the day to day things. 

 But now… now, it’s going to be here in days.  Now I find myself thinking about all the time I’ve wasted. I should have been designing screens, activities and layouts.  I could have been considering vocabulary, brushing up on my programming skills or taking pictures and video to use as graphics and motivators. I shoulda, coulda….

On the other hand, the reality is that without knowing when exactly the device would arrive, much of it would be just a guessing game.  Things change so fast. Kids grow so fast….

Yes, they grow so fast and we’ve wasted enough time.  As soon as this thing gets here, everything else in my life will go on hold while I get Adrian’s voice up and talking… he’s been on hold long enough.

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